We Are In This Together

Showing up isn’t the same as growing.

Many Christians settle into a pattern of attending church without ever stepping into maturity. But Ephesians 4 paints a different picture: God designed His church so every believer grows and helps others grow too.

In this sermon, Pastor Todd walks through God’s design for spiritual maturity and challenges us with a hard truth: healthy things grow. God didn’t save you simply to attend church—He saved you to grow in Christ and help others do the same.

In this message you'll discover:
• Why church attendance isn’t the same as spiritual growth
• Signs you may be spiritually stalled
• Why spectatorship can quietly replace discipleship
• Why truth and love are both essential for growth
• Practical next steps toward maturity in Christ

If you’ve ever felt stagnant, disconnected, or spiritually inconsistent, this message is for you.

Visit https://www.centralchurch.com to get involved with Central Church.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

So, if you have kids, you know this is true. Kids are born cute. God did this on purpose. Because if they were born as middle schoolers, they wouldn't make it. Is that true? That's true. And so as we watch children grow, some here's some of the phrases that you will hear, I will say, you will say, oh, I wish they could stay young forever. Oh, they're so cute when they're babies. Oh, this is adorable. When they do things, and especially grandparents watching kids. If I were to color on the wall, my mother and father would have murdered me. But if Zoe or Zayn did it when they were little, oh, that looks great. Oh, look at that. She recognized the right colors to use. You're like, what is happening? And people get excited about babies. Now, here's a little spoiler alert for me. I really, really liked my kids. Really liked them. And when they became potty trained, that like went to love. I mean, it was awesome. It was amazing. And as they learned to talk, as they learned, that was good for a while, and then I was like, oh, they still have the ability to talk and talk and talk and talk. But a lot of times, if we're honest, we think it is cute and it's adorable and we long for that simpler time when our son is little again, when our daughter is little again. However, sometimes progression not happening loses its cuteness. Now, for me, I really have never been hung up on that idea of longing for when Zane was four, when Zoe was four. I really don't have that sadness looking back over their lives. And I think it's because the house I grew up in, my older sister, mentally handicapped, no progressions. Still about three to nonverbal, no progressions. I watched my parents with great sadness know in their heart of hearts, milestones wouldn't be achieved. Those things that people tear up at, my mother longed to be able to attend those. Graduations, weddings, things like that. She didn't watch that happen for Kim. It never happened. It won't happen. You see, sometimes when progression doesn't occur, it doesn't make sense, it isn't cute, it's a tragedy. It's sad. Just like with kids, so too we can slip into that sadness when we start to follow Christ, if we never progress. And we must progress. We must learn to mature. We must keep going because it's not cute anymore. And so that's where we're looking today. And this whole series, we're talking about growing up, grow up, that main idea there, spiritual infancy to maturity. And here's what we're talking about today. We are in this together. And so here's the idea. It is not enough for you to grow up by yourself. You should. You should. But collectively as a church body, we also must grow up together. There's a symbiotic relationship that happens. We are better as a church if you continue to grow. I am better as a believer if you continue to grow as an individual. We as a body are better if each individual grows. Why? Because healthy things mature. Healthy things grow. When we see something not growing and it's stagnant, it should send an alarm to us to say something is wrong. And so, as Pastor said earlier in that video, we do recognize the authority, the teaching of the Word of God. So if you would stand, turn your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 4, verse 11 through 16, and we'll be reading this together. Here's what the Bible says. And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds, and teachers to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and the knowledge of the Son of God to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves, and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness and deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head into Christ, for whom the whole body joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. So, here's our big idea today. God did not save you simply to attend church, He saved you to grow up in Christ and help others do the same. So before you take a seat, here's where we're going today. First, God gave leaders to equip you, not entertain you. God's goal is maturity, not perpetual spiritual adolescence. Three, growth requires truth and love. And lastly, everyone has a role in the growth of the church. Every single one of us. You may be seated. So let's start with this idea first. God did not save you simply to attend church. He saved you, he saved me to grow up in Christ and help others to do the same. Paul makes something clear here. Spiritual maturity doesn't just occur. It doesn't just happen. It takes intention, it takes being equipped, staying engaged, and actually committing to become more like Jesus. Think about when you were raising your kids. It didn't just happen. You had to plan, you had to feed, you had to change their diapers, you had to mobilize them, you had to help them, you had to help them progress as they go through school. There are certain benchmarks that they have to hit, and if they don't hit them, you get assistance and help to help them achieve. There's development. It doesn't just naturally occur. You can't just release them to the wild and say, let's see what happens. There's an intentionality. So think about it this way. Most of the time, churches, especially here in the United States, typically resemble this. Let's look at this picture here. You have it? There it is. It's beautiful, isn't it? That's a yes. By the way, this is uh at the University of Texas. You know I had to stick it in there somewhere. So yeah. And so here's the idea. If you've been to a football game before, and I'm sure you have, think about it. Twenty people are on the field at once. 11 on defense, 11 on offense. The coaches are going crazy, the coaches in the booth are sending down the signals. Everybody is working hard, those people, while thousands, thousands watch. Sometimes we can be like that at church. There's leaders, there's key volunteers that are working tirelessly, that are giving over and above, that are praying, that are attending, that are going, that are sending, that are working. While other people just watch. They just show up. Maybe. And they participate by sitting, maybe every now and then by applause. This is not the intent for the church that Jesus has lined up, the church that God has called us to be. Because we don't want to be a handful of exhausted leaders doing everything while everybody else watches. That's not the kind of church that central should be. That's not the kind of place that you want to attend. So here are some questions to ask yourself. Where am I being equipped right now? Do you know one of the reasons why church membership matters? And we make this promise at Central. One of our jobs as elders, as deacons, as teachers, as volunteers, is to rightfully teach the Word of God and give instruction on how someone is to be, to live, to act, and to mature. The role of the member is this, to respond in kind, not in loyalty to the leadership, but to Christ. But because this is true in the Bible, I want to live the way you've asked me to live. This is the arrangement. This is the idea. And so you need to ask yourself, where am I being equipped? Did you know that we offer evangelism training classes? Now, here's the reason why we do that. A lot of people can share the gospel. A lot of people know how to say, this is what is important to me. Let me tell you what Jesus did. But a lot of times people struggle to do it because they don't know how to start. Or they don't know how to kind of tie it up. And so, Pastor Greg and several other people, they work hard to do some training to put you in a position, to put you in a comfort level to where you feel like you can engage other people at your work, in your family, in your neighborhood, or wherever you might find yourself. We want to do evangelism training. Not only that, we do small group training. In fact, tonight, week two, is starting tonight, 4:30, up in the young adult room. If you say, I kind of want to be a small group leader, but I don't know what that means. Guess what? We want to train you, we want to equip you. That's why we're here. Because remember what it says in verse 11 through 12. Christ gave the apostles, prophets, evangelists, shepherds, and teachers. Here's why that matters. Here's why that matters. God has given these leaders as gifts to the church. Not because they're impressive, and if you've ever met me, you know that's true, but because Christ loves his church and he wants them to be spiritual guides for them. And here's the here's the purpose, and it's so clear. To equip the saints for the work of ministry. That's it. It's that simple. So where am I being equipped? Am I in a group? Is another question you need to ask yourself. In fact, at the bottom of that insert in your bulletin, it says, join a small group. There's a little QR code. If you take your phone and click on that QR code and tap on that, take a picture of that. It'll guide you to a questionnaire of what kind of group are you looking for? Because if you're not in a group, you need to be in one. In fact, one of the driving forces of our groups right now are they're all tied to the Sunday morning message. And so as you participate today, I want you to carry this message throughout the week and not just hear it, but engage with it and say, because of this text, because of this scripture, now what? How is it going to drip through my life? And you can kind of look through and it'll give different responses to you on what kind of group you need to be a part of. Third, am I learning scripture? Am I serving somewhere? Am I helping carry ministry responsibility? These are things that you need to be asking yourself so that you will understand that God gave leaders to equip you not to entertain you, not just to provide a focus for you. Because ultimately the idea is this we want you to move from being a consumer to being a contributor. So, God gave leaders to equip you, not entertain you, too. God's goal is maturity, not perpetual spiritual adolescence. Not spiritual adolescence. In verse 13 through 14, look what it says. Until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God to mature manhood to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. God isn't impressed by yours or my attendance. He's not. They're not up, they're not down, there's a stability to them that they show. When life throws curveballs, they remain stable. When life is good, they remain stable. They remain grounded. Two, they show great discernment. They don't just take on every whim, everything, and all those different things. They're not changed by a podcast, by the newest saying, the newest expression. When life hits hard, all of a sudden their theology doesn't turn upside down necessarily. They go back to what they know is ultimately true. There's a great discernment, they show depth, and ultimately they show Christ's likeness. That's our goal. We want to look more like him. Now, do we look like him every day all the time? No. No. But as we journey with Christ, after year one, year five, year ten, wherever you might find yourself, the idea is you should look more like him then than when you started. That's logical. That's understandable. So here's the question. If that's what maturity looks like, what does immaturity look like? Check this picture out. That's what it looks like. I don't like that picture. The kid's cute, but not right there. Have you ever seen a kid throw a tantrum? And and and you know, it's a mixture of like, oh, that kid is so loud, and then also joy. He's not mine. And you can keep moving past him in the aisle. If you're honest, when you're about to board a plane, in fact, uh Pastor Michael and I were flying out to Phoenix, and there was this one kid at the airport. This this kid has nothing on him. He was so loud, and I caught myself looking at around the different screens. I said, I hope that kid's going to Atlanta really bad. Because I know if he's on that flight to Phoenix, he's gonna be right by me. And I didn't want that. But why do kids throw tantrums because they don't get what they want? That's immaturity. Have you ever asked God casually or deeply, God, give me this, grant me this. This is my heart's desire. For whatever reason, it doesn't come through. It doesn't come in on the timeline that you requested. Have you ever thrown a tantrum? A spiritual tantrum at God? So if you're not gonna do this for me, I won't do this for you. I remember one time Zoe wasn't getting what she wanted, and she started holding her breath. As a loving, tender father. Yeah, you know where this is going. I leaned out and I said, honey, daddy's favorite color is blue. It's okay. And she is stubborn, she gets that from somebody, I don't know. And she all of a sudden just released because she said, I can't break him. He is like me. You know, and she just realized that that hit her. But so when you and I think about immaturity, when we throw that tantrum, here are some questions that we want to ask ourselves. What still triggers me, destabilizes me? What causes me to lose it? Is it the same thing that was happening early on in life? And still it frustrates you to this day. And we need to ask ourselves this question, and I hate asking this one of myself. Where am I spiritually immature? Sit there and think about that. Where are you spiritually immature? Some of you go, oh, I know. Some of you, if you have a spouse right near you, they're like going, oh, I know for them. Yeah. And they start making a list. But sometimes what we do is, especially if we've been in the church a long time, we'll take our immature thoughts and drape them with a mature response. Maybe you've seen this. Sometimes churches don't collectively stick together because people peel away. And here are some of the immature phrases that I've heard over the years. By the way, I'm not picking on anybody here, but we've all thought this. Maybe. But I've heard these phrases, and I believe you have too, whether you voice them or not. I'm not being fed. I'm not growing. It's not what I want. A couple thoughts. A little side here on the not being fed. Every time I've heard a believer say that, whether they've been a believer five years or 50 years, the antenna goes up, and here's the first thought. This is the first thought I have. They're immature. And then I try to look closer at them. And here's what I'm looking for. Do they have fork marks on their cheek or on their head? Why? Why do I look for that? Because they don't know how to feed themselves. And I'm not meaning figuratively or literally there, I'm telling you figuratively with the word of God. They don't know how to dig in the truth of God for themselves. Now let me say this. Sometimes people have never been taught. So it's not immaturity, it's ignorance. But I can tell you this at this church, there are opportunities to end ignorance and enter into knowledge and allow that knowledge to become wisdom. Take opportunity when you have it. You don't have to stay where you are. You don't have to stay immature. Here's another question to ask yourself: Am I easily deceived? Are you tricked? As the scripture talks about back and forth with all this deceitfulness, you're easily swayed by different thoughts, different commercials, different Bible studies, different, whatever it might be, different messages. Or do you know a fake when you hear it, when you see it? Do you know the truth so well that you go, oh, something ain't right? That's not what the Word of God thoroughly says. They're twisting it. It might be close to the truth, but it doesn't feel right. Then you know you're on the track for maturity. So you've got to be careful. And am I spiritually inconsistent? Is it a lot of up and a lot of down, a lot of up, a lot of down, a lot of up and a lot of down. Remember, one of the markers of a mature person is stability. So that's where we want to be. By the way, every single person will experience spiritual immaturity in their lives. So if you say, well, I that's kind of where I'm at, every one of us are there at one point or another. The idea here is not to stay there, but to move on and progress. Because early on, there is something kind of cute and funny. When a new believer, they're just starting to change slowly but surely, they're starting to transform. In fact, sometimes there's a group uh down in North Texas that I would work with, and these guys coming out of recovery, uh, out of addiction, and they're and they're they're starting to learn what Christ wants for them. And during a shared time, one guy goes, Man, God is so blanking good. And he said a word, and then we're like, Oh, he doesn't know, you shouldn't say that now. But it was in maturity. But slowly but surely, his speech changed, his language changed, his habits changed. Why? Because maturity settled in, became more stable. He was consistent instead of inconsistent. That's where we want to be. So, build the habits that keep you rooted. Get in the word, study scripture, prayer. I tell people all the time in the Discover class, in the membership class, prayer is one of the most talked-about things in church, but the least done. Right? In fact, the disciples said, Lord, teach us to pray. So it's a learned skill. It's not something that when you become a Christian, all of a sudden, you're an awesome prayer. It's a skill to be learned, it's a spiritual discipline. A book that I would recommend is Teach Me to Pray in 28 Days. It's by Kay Arthur. It's phenomenal. It is phenomenal. Another thing that you and I need to do to build these habits, get in community. We already talked about that small group. If you're not in a group, you've got to find one. Not only because you need to be known, you need to know other people's names. You need to get around the Word of God with other people that are talking about the good, the bad, and everywhere in between. And you're gonna have opportunity to share with other people how God got you out of that ditch. Likewise, you're gonna be able to encourage somebody that finds themselves in a ditch. A community. And also, while you're there in that community, the next thing is you get accountability. People that know you well enough to know and have permission to say, this isn't you. You shouldn't be doing this. This isn't what Scripture says for people that follow Him should be doing. We need accountability. And here's the basic principle with that. If you could have gotten better all on your own, if I could have gotten better all on my own, I would have. Verse 15, look what it says. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head into Christ. Into Christ. So here's what Paul says: speaking the truth in love. Truth without love turns into a weapon. Truth without love is mean. Truth without love is cruel. Likewise, love without truth is unkind. Love without truth ultimately is lying to them. It's not helpful to them at all. Jesus never chose between them, and neither should we. Can you imagine if you would go to your doctor and your doctor finds cancer, but he stays quiet because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings? Or his bedside manner stinks, and he's so aggressive, so thoughtless, he doesn't care about your feelings. Neither one is ideal. Neither one is ideal. Neither one displays what scripture is showing here: truth and love. There's a tension that has to happen. And here's the truth. You and I tend to fall on one side or the other. Some of you, and this is where I fall, you're truth people. I tell it like it is. This is just the way it is. And all the while, we may not say this part out loud, it gives me a license to be a jerk. I can be bold. That's not what truth and love is. But some of you fall on the love side and say, well, we don't want to hurt their feelings. We don't want to say that. I know scripture says this, but oh, what could that do? That could hurt their heart. That's unkind. Ultimately, that's that could devastate a person. We dare not hold back truth at risk of hurting somebody's feelings. We can't do that. So here's the thing. Somewhere in there, that delicate balance of truth and love, we have to get. Here's why. If we can, and by the way, we can't, but if God will help us, we can. But in that tension, if we can display truth and love, remarkable. Remarkable. Do you know how thirsty our culture is for that? They don't always thank you for it. They might even boo you. They might even hate you. But here's the ultimate truth. And let's think about it as friendships. Some of us in this room would rather preserve a friendship than a friend. Here's what I mean. Your friend is doing something, and you know they're not supposed to be doing it. You know they're not supposed to be involved with it. But if I tell them, they'll be mad, they'll walk away, they'll run for cut. They won't be my friend anymore. Here's the question I want you to ask yourself. Do you love the friendship more than the friend? Are you willing to risk the friendship because you genuinely love the friend? There is a difference. You have to speak the truth in love. So ask yourself this question. Am I harsh? Am I too blunt? Am I too passive? Am I too weak? Do I avoid confrontation? Maybe a face has appeared in your mind. Maybe a name has popped up. Who do you have to have an honest conversation with this week? Who is that person? God gave leaders to equip you, not entertain you. God's goal is maturity, not perpetual spiritual adolescence. Growth requires truth and love. And lastly, everyone has a role in the growth of the church. Verse 16, look what it says. From whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. That's what the Bible says. Here's what Paul says. When each part is working properly, not just working, but working properly, the way you were designed, the way you were supposed to function. Here's the idea. And some of you may or may not believe this. Some of you may know this is true, but you don't feel this often. You matter. You say, ah, I'm just one of many people in this church. You matter. Do you think God is surprised that you're a part of Central Church? Do you think God is shocked that you're attending here for quite a while? Or you just started to come? Do you think he's like, I have no idea. There's a purpose behind everything. So if you matter and you do, what you do or don't do affects more than just you. It affects the whole body. Imagine. Imagine you have to run a race and your leg is injured. How are you gonna do? Not your best. Not your best time. Doubt you'll win. Doubt you'll succeed. And the goal that's before you. The finish line may never be achieved. Just like that. That's how we are. That's what the church looks like when people sit out. When they abstain. And they say, ah, not for me. I'm just here to look and watch. You'll allow the church to limp because you matter what you do or don't do affects more than just you. It's true. Healthy churches are filled with ordinary people doing faithful things. I love this quote by Charles Spurgeon. Here it is. Every Christian is either a missionary or an imposter. Those words confront us if we tend to be passive. In fact, head on it goes after passive Christianity. You might soften the wording, but you can't escape the point. The New Testament, and really the whole Bible, doesn't have a category for spectators. Christianity is a team sport. Church is a team sport. It is not just one or two people, it's everybody. And God is not shocked that you're a part of it. And so you don't need to be a wallflower anymore. Get involved. So here's the idea. Saved people join God's mission. So ask yourself these questions. Who am I serving? Who am I discipling? Say, oh, I don't know enough. If you know Jesus, you know enough. And as you start to lead people, here's what will happen. When people start asking you Bible questions, it's okay to be honest with them to say, well, what does this mean? I don't know. That's an okay answer. But what's not okay is to not follow it up with, but let me find out. What does this mean? I don't know, but I'll find out. And as you journey, if you're one to two steps ahead of that person, that's okay. And you start to walk. And what happens is when you have somebody pressing you as a disciple, as a disciple lead, I've found that it drives you deeper into God's word, deeper into desperation of saying, What do I have to become? How can I know him better? Because I want to be an example to them, not in honor to grain credibility for myself, because I want to honor him the best I can. And so as you do that, as you start that journey, it's going to push you in a great way. Here's another question I want you to ask yourself. This one stings a little bit. What responsibility am I avoiding? What responsibility am I avoiding? Now let me say this. Typically, typically, I've heard phrases like this from mature, longtime Christians that have served the Lord faithfully. And I know they're being cute and light-hearted with this, but ultimately if you dig into the statement, it loses its cuteness. I've served my time with the students like it was solitary or something. And, you know, some I get it. I get it. Or I used to volunteer in the elementary area. I did my time. I did my tour. Done. Do you know the retirement age that's mentioned for a believer in Scripture? If you say you do, you're lying because there isn't one. There isn't one until we see him face to face. Don't stop. Don't stop serving. Don't stop discipling. Don't stop involving yourself. Why? Because the journey that God is taking you through matters, and if you don't do something that God has instructed you to do, it will go undone. That makes sense. Because then the body won't be operating properly, and we won't achieve what God has for us. Here's the invitation. I need you to serve in kids' ministry. You people that are serving five tours of duty, and maybe you feel like you are kept in the Hanoi Hilton by third graders. Because they can be rough. I need you to re-up. They need you. We need you. Remember what it was like when you were a young couple? And it was such an accomplishment to get to church and all the kids were alive and their hair was mostly combed and they were partially fed? You're like, oh, we've achieved greatness. And everybody was shocked when you walked to the door. I need you to remember that. And instead of saying, well, they need to be serving, they do need to be serving. But all of a sudden, when you get to a certain age, as you have adult children, I have adult children, and older, all of a sudden, you have a larger capacity of time. You have a larger capacity to serve. And guess what you also have? You have experience. You have wisdom mostly. You have the scar tissue to prove it. And you can be a great service to the church and the kingdom and the people of God. So, how do I serve? You can take your phone and tap right in front of you, and they've got a serve at central tab or serve at VBS. It's coming up. We need you to serve. If you don't have a place, man, we got a place for you. Second, it might be serving through leading a group. Like I said earlier, tonight at 4.30 up in the young adult room. If you weren't there for week one, week two, jump right in and just say, hey, I don't know what it means, but I need to find out because this might be where God has me. That might be something that God wants me to do. It might be like, how do I care for others? How do I serve? I can deliver meals, I can cook meals, I'm not a teacher, but I can do this. Whatever it might be, find a point of service. Why? It matters. It matters. Remember as we, and this is as we're closing. Remember, this is Paul's whole vision. A church that actually looks like Jesus. This is what we're after. I want to go back to that imagery that I talked about earlier. You know, my parents longed for Kim to progress. That's why when Zoe walked across the stage and graduated. I didn't cry. That's why when Zoe got her license to be a beautician, I felt good. I didn't long for a four-year-old again. When I saw Zane walk across and get his high school diploma as he started making plans for the future, I don't long for those days when he was ten. I don't. Why? Because healthy things progress. Growth is a gift from God. Progression is a gift from God. Maturity is a gift from God. Last thing. God did not save you simply to attend church. He saved you to grow up in Christ and help others do the same. Let's pray. Father, this morning, I thank you for your word. I thank you for the fact that you did not save us just to let us sit. You saved us for a purpose and for a reason. Thank you for that. Father, as we're about to enter into a time of worship, for some of the people in this room, when we talk about spiritual maturity, they know exactly their next step. But God, for some of us in this room, we may find ourselves not immature or mature. We're just not yet born because we don't know you. But God, you've been squeezing them, letting them know that they know a lot of stuff about you, but they don't know you. And it's for that man, that woman, I pray that they will come to their senses, they will repent and admit that they have sinned against you. And God be forgiven and return to you and be changed by you for you. I pray this will be true. Whatever we're supposed to do, God, in this place, I pray you give us the wisdom and the courage to say yes to whatever that next step is. In Jesus' name I pray this. Amen.